New Words

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.  Here are this year’s winners:

1.  bozone,  n.  the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating; unfortunately, it shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2.  foreploy,  n.  any misrepresentation about oneself for the purpose of getting laid.
3.  cashtration,  n.  any act which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4.  giraffiti,  n.  vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5.  sarchasm,  n.  the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
6.  inoculatte,  v. to take coffee intravenously when running late.
7.  hipatitis,  n.  terminal coolness.
8.  osteopornosis,  n.  a degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9.  karmageddon,  n.  it’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
10.  decaflon,  n.  the grueling event of getting through the day without coffee.
11.  glibido,  n.  all talk and no action.
12.  reintarnation,  n.  coming back to life as a hillbilly.
13.  intaxication,  n.  euphoria from receiving a tax refund, which quickly vanishes upon realizing that the funds are the taxpayer’s own money.
14.  dopeler effect,  n.  the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when spoken in rapid succession.
15.  arachnoleptic fit,  n.  the frantic dance performed by one who has just accidentally walked through a spider web.
16.  Beelzebug,  n.  Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into the bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17.  caterpallor,  n.  the complexion of someone eating a piece of fruit, after finding half a grub inside it.
And first place went to:
18.  ignoranus,  n.  a person who is both stupid and an asshole.